QUESTION: "Dr. Remington, no doubt but that the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center works every day with people abusing drugs. Could you give your personal opinion as to why people do drugs?”
ANSWER: That question intrigues me daily; it haunts me almost constantly; it forces me to try and find the answer, or answers.
How doing drugs starts is pretty well documented. “Here, try this. It will make you feel real good.” Drugs are tried; they work; the experimenter gets hooked! Peer invitation and pressures.
All around us, perhaps in co-workers, close friends, relatives, even in church attenders, the devastation of doing drugs is seen. How tragic! In our country and globally, lives are being destroyed and wasted by snorting, ingesting by needle, and swallowing drugs. I include alcohol abuse and nicotine as doing drugs. Misusing food may be included as an addiction. Destroyed relationships; ruined marriages; wasted lives; crime and often death, are the results of doing drugs. All races, cultures, socio-economical levels, social statuses, education and genders are allowing their lives to be damaged, if not ended, by doing drugs. WHY?
Let’s note that the cause(s) may be neurological, chemical imbalance, deep-seated psychiatric issues, or modeling. Here is my personal opinion: EGO. That part of us that focuses exclusively on us. ME-ISM. There is a mental health category listing this action and attitude, “narcissism.” Consider this. Wanting to numb out, feel beautiful or competent, extraordinary, unusually perceptive, super intellectual, spiritually advanced, sensually seductive, all boil down to what I want. An over-exaggerated ego; unbridled arrogance. How sorry we feel for people stuck on their own selves.
My strong hunch is this. The person who feels relatively comfortable with oneself and who is enjoying life will have no need to have these changed by mind-altering drugs of any kind.
Back to the ego. Good mental health – not needing drugs – is a healthy balance between really liking oneself as one is, but not over-focusing on self. Romans 12:3, For by grace given to me I say… not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think. Yes, think highly of oneself as a creation of God, but don’t overdo that.
We get out of “me-ism” by acknowledging and acting that we are all connected at a deep level. This is accurate Biblical theology; confirmed by Quantum Physics. In the thought-provoking book, The Shack, we read this. ‘When you chose independence over relationship, you become a danger to one another. Others become objects to be manipulated or managed for your own happiness.’ And, Jesus picked up the conversation, “As the crowning glory of creation, you were made in our image, unencumbered by structure and free to simply “be” in relationship with me and one another. If you had truly learned to regard one another’s concerns as significant as your own, there would be no need for hierarchy.’ (pp. 125-26).
Serious addictions healing usually involve an in-patient stay, followed by consistent participation in AA (Alcohol Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) along with professional counseling that is faith-integrated, as we offer.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Selecting Accurate Information
QUESTION: "Dr. Remington, I read in your bio that in addition to psychology and theology, you have aviation in your career. Could you share something from aviation in mental health and spirituality?”
ANSWER: For the past several days I have been sad, grieving, and in prayer for the passengers, flight crew, and their loved ones in the crash of an airliner in the Atlantic Ocean.
A preliminary contributing accident cause was that inaccurate information came to the pilots and to the aircraft. This also happens to we human beings, we receive inaccurate information that may cause us to crash in life.
It is common in mental health counseling to discover that a present emotional or mental problem resulted from the person receiving inaccurate information from our parents, or parental figures, or traumas early in our life. That inaccurate information usually pertains to how we feel about ourselves, and in turn, how we perceive and approach life.
Information about ourselves pretty much comes from three levels. One level is what we hear about ourselves from others. That information is inaccurate when we are told that we are anything other than beautiful and competent.
Information about ourselves comes from what we communicate to ourselves. Read my last article, Don't Trash Trash Talk. Our bodies respond to the kind of self-talk we make. That information is inaccurate when we communicate to ourselves anything other than what is positive and optimistic about ourselves.
A third level is information we receive from our spiritual relationship. That information is inaccurate, in my opinion, when a communication is from God Who is anything other than good and loving.
Jesus gives us an excellent understanding of receiving accurate information. The Gospel tells us how His family was so concerned about Him that they decided He should have what today we call a mental status examination, a psychiatric evaluation. His family felt that He was emotionally unbalanced. Jesus rejected their inaccurate information; He selected the accurate information that he was doing His Heavenly Father's will. People doing that may be considered at least "weird", if not worse. John, chapters 8 and 10 record that Jesus was accused of possessing a "demon".
In my belief, the most accurate information comes to us from our personal times of prayer and meditation. When we have a solid spiritual foundation - receiving the most accurate information about us from the Highest Source - we have the most accurate self-portrait. Please read Matthew 5:11. The following verses describe who we really are.
That's it! Select only information from others that is upholding of you; select only information from yourself that is supportive of you; select only information from a God Who is good and love, and communicates to us that we are a unique and precious child of God.
Select only accurate information.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
ANSWER: For the past several days I have been sad, grieving, and in prayer for the passengers, flight crew, and their loved ones in the crash of an airliner in the Atlantic Ocean.
A preliminary contributing accident cause was that inaccurate information came to the pilots and to the aircraft. This also happens to we human beings, we receive inaccurate information that may cause us to crash in life.
It is common in mental health counseling to discover that a present emotional or mental problem resulted from the person receiving inaccurate information from our parents, or parental figures, or traumas early in our life. That inaccurate information usually pertains to how we feel about ourselves, and in turn, how we perceive and approach life.
Information about ourselves pretty much comes from three levels. One level is what we hear about ourselves from others. That information is inaccurate when we are told that we are anything other than beautiful and competent.
Information about ourselves comes from what we communicate to ourselves. Read my last article, Don't Trash Trash Talk. Our bodies respond to the kind of self-talk we make. That information is inaccurate when we communicate to ourselves anything other than what is positive and optimistic about ourselves.
A third level is information we receive from our spiritual relationship. That information is inaccurate, in my opinion, when a communication is from God Who is anything other than good and loving.
Jesus gives us an excellent understanding of receiving accurate information. The Gospel tells us how His family was so concerned about Him that they decided He should have what today we call a mental status examination, a psychiatric evaluation. His family felt that He was emotionally unbalanced. Jesus rejected their inaccurate information; He selected the accurate information that he was doing His Heavenly Father's will. People doing that may be considered at least "weird", if not worse. John, chapters 8 and 10 record that Jesus was accused of possessing a "demon".
In my belief, the most accurate information comes to us from our personal times of prayer and meditation. When we have a solid spiritual foundation - receiving the most accurate information about us from the Highest Source - we have the most accurate self-portrait. Please read Matthew 5:11. The following verses describe who we really are.
That's it! Select only information from others that is upholding of you; select only information from yourself that is supportive of you; select only information from a God Who is good and love, and communicates to us that we are a unique and precious child of God.
Select only accurate information.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Don't Trash Trash Talk
"Dr. Remington, I sort of understand trash talk, but what has trash talk to do with mental health?”
ANSWER: A LOT! Trash talk is using words to put down, degrade, demean, to make feel inferior and incompetent, to destroy. I suggest that we back off from focusing on the words and the superficial intentions of trash talk and examine the deeper impact of talking trash.
Basic to this impact is that we humans are a mind-body-spirit connection. We are a system in which one part affects all the other parts.
Trash talk sends a powerful negative message to our bodies, minds, and spirits. These tend to make a negative response to the negative message. One expert points out that “negative thoughts are a form of energy that depletes us.” Other research confirms that negative thinking contributes to various physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual illnesses and problems. Let’s pause for a moment and acknowledge the destructive power of trash talk.
The good news is that the opposite is also true. Positive talk sends messages of wellness to our bodies, minds, and spirits.
Our Judeo-Christian Bible speaks about being “good stewards” of God’s creations. I Peter 4:10 means, to me, being good stewards of this “wholeness” that is contained in our bodies, minds and spirits.
I strongly suggest this: Keep a diary, a log, of every negative (trash) thing you say to others or to yourself. Make a column of those. Then, directly across from each one, transform that negative statement into a positive statement. Examples:
I am stupid, I am smart
I am dumb, I am intelligent
I am ugly, I am beautiful
I am incompetent, I am competent
I am worthless, I am valuable as a child of God
I can’t do anything, With Divine power, I can do everything I really need to do
Remember please: The thoughts and talk that we make send powerful messages to our bodies, minds, and spirits. As good stewards of our bodies, minds, and spirits, what do we want to send?
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
ANSWER: A LOT! Trash talk is using words to put down, degrade, demean, to make feel inferior and incompetent, to destroy. I suggest that we back off from focusing on the words and the superficial intentions of trash talk and examine the deeper impact of talking trash.
Basic to this impact is that we humans are a mind-body-spirit connection. We are a system in which one part affects all the other parts.
Trash talk sends a powerful negative message to our bodies, minds, and spirits. These tend to make a negative response to the negative message. One expert points out that “negative thoughts are a form of energy that depletes us.” Other research confirms that negative thinking contributes to various physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual illnesses and problems. Let’s pause for a moment and acknowledge the destructive power of trash talk.
The good news is that the opposite is also true. Positive talk sends messages of wellness to our bodies, minds, and spirits.
Our Judeo-Christian Bible speaks about being “good stewards” of God’s creations. I Peter 4:10 means, to me, being good stewards of this “wholeness” that is contained in our bodies, minds and spirits.
I strongly suggest this: Keep a diary, a log, of every negative (trash) thing you say to others or to yourself. Make a column of those. Then, directly across from each one, transform that negative statement into a positive statement. Examples:
I am stupid, I am smart
I am dumb, I am intelligent
I am ugly, I am beautiful
I am incompetent, I am competent
I am worthless, I am valuable as a child of God
I can’t do anything, With Divine power, I can do everything I really need to do
Remember please: The thoughts and talk that we make send powerful messages to our bodies, minds, and spirits. As good stewards of our bodies, minds, and spirits, what do we want to send?
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Coming out of the closet
"Dr. Remington, your office no doubt has many ways of describing the counseling process and outcome. Please share one with me."
ANSWER: We're talking about using a metaphor, a way of describing something but doing so in a different way from the actual way.
The counseling process and outcome is like coming out of the closet. It’s not what you think!
A closet represents a place with little or no real light, restricted vision, little movement possible, some sense of suffocation, and all aloneness.
We come out of the closet into light. Now we see more things, more clearly, and in a different light, a light that is now positive and hopeful. An appropriate Bible verse is Isaiah 9:02 (and Matthew 4:16). The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness - on them light has shined.
We sense a new freedom. We become released from the restrictions of feeling inferior, incompetent, hopeless, worthless. We develop the sense of becoming a whole person, of feeling good about oneself, both in the present and facing the future. We no longer are controlled by other people, things, or situations. Our relationship to other people is a healthy one.
This coming into the light and experiencing freedom often applies to our spiritual selves. The individuals often accept their new self-concept, I am the unique, precious, individual God created me to be. We Christians note Galatians 5:01: For freedom Christ has set us free. For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters, (verse 13).
The Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center invites you to allow us to help you as you come out of your closet. From confinement to freedom.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
ANSWER: We're talking about using a metaphor, a way of describing something but doing so in a different way from the actual way.
The counseling process and outcome is like coming out of the closet. It’s not what you think!
A closet represents a place with little or no real light, restricted vision, little movement possible, some sense of suffocation, and all aloneness.
We come out of the closet into light. Now we see more things, more clearly, and in a different light, a light that is now positive and hopeful. An appropriate Bible verse is Isaiah 9:02 (and Matthew 4:16). The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness - on them light has shined.
We sense a new freedom. We become released from the restrictions of feeling inferior, incompetent, hopeless, worthless. We develop the sense of becoming a whole person, of feeling good about oneself, both in the present and facing the future. We no longer are controlled by other people, things, or situations. Our relationship to other people is a healthy one.
This coming into the light and experiencing freedom often applies to our spiritual selves. The individuals often accept their new self-concept, I am the unique, precious, individual God created me to be. We Christians note Galatians 5:01: For freedom Christ has set us free. For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters, (verse 13).
The Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center invites you to allow us to help you as you come out of your closet. From confinement to freedom.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Something Missing
QUESTION: "Dr. Remington, why can't I be more consistent in living my life? I think I am missing something, but what could it be?"
ANSWER: May I start answering your excellent question with a joke? A man is drafted into the Army, against his wishes. All during boot camp he walks around babbling, 'Where is it? Where is it?" Finally, his commanding officer calls him in. “Young man. All you have done since you arrived here is walk around asking, "Where is it?" The Army has had it with you. You're out of here. Here is your discharge.” To which the man replies, "There it is!"
Perhaps the reason a life is not being lived consistently is that the person hasn't found the deeper, inner, stability to do so. This ties into the second part of your question. A possibility exists, as you state, you have a nagging sense that something is missing in your life.
Most often, understandably, a client comes for counseling hoping to "fix something." Sometimes that "fixing something" is uncovering something.
Throughout the Judeo-Christian Bible, for example, Jeremiah 16:06 and Matthew 11:29 (and in many of the major world's religions) there is an insight into all humanity for all time - a restlessness of our spirit to be in touch with who we really are - spiritual beings.
Please, please, do not make the judgment that every person with a physical or psychological problem has a spiritual problem.
Rather, please be open to the possibility that behind a physical or psychological problem there may be an uncovered desire for a spiritual intimacy. To be sensitive to this is one of the many unique services offered by the counseling staff of the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center.
Something missing in your life? Maybe.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
ANSWER: May I start answering your excellent question with a joke? A man is drafted into the Army, against his wishes. All during boot camp he walks around babbling, 'Where is it? Where is it?" Finally, his commanding officer calls him in. “Young man. All you have done since you arrived here is walk around asking, "Where is it?" The Army has had it with you. You're out of here. Here is your discharge.” To which the man replies, "There it is!"
Perhaps the reason a life is not being lived consistently is that the person hasn't found the deeper, inner, stability to do so. This ties into the second part of your question. A possibility exists, as you state, you have a nagging sense that something is missing in your life.
Most often, understandably, a client comes for counseling hoping to "fix something." Sometimes that "fixing something" is uncovering something.
Throughout the Judeo-Christian Bible, for example, Jeremiah 16:06 and Matthew 11:29 (and in many of the major world's religions) there is an insight into all humanity for all time - a restlessness of our spirit to be in touch with who we really are - spiritual beings.
Please, please, do not make the judgment that every person with a physical or psychological problem has a spiritual problem.
Rather, please be open to the possibility that behind a physical or psychological problem there may be an uncovered desire for a spiritual intimacy. To be sensitive to this is one of the many unique services offered by the counseling staff of the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center.
Something missing in your life? Maybe.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Blessing of Hitting Bottom
QUESTION: Dr. Remington, what is this thing called, "Hitting the Bottom?"
ANSWER: Sometimes I’m a slow learner. Unfortunately. Because by the time I “get it”, I’ve dug myself in a deep hole that usually keeps on getting deeper and deeper until I decide to make some corrections…hopefully, before it’s not too late. Perhaps this is the situation with you or someone you know.
Fortunately, there is a point where we can – and should, get it. That point is called "hitting the bottom". Let's look at just three of many issues where this idea applies. People becoming increasingly dependent on alcohol. The bottle takes increasing control so the dependent person loses friends, relatives, his or her spouse and children. Often the last thing to lose is the job. Obviously, because income must continue in order to purchase the alcohol. A second issue is continuing in a dysfunctional marriage. Emotional, physical and spiritual distance between the two increases, hostilities and conflicts become more serious. The couple moves from being mere "roommates" to intensely disliking each other. A third issue is staying in an abusing situation, the abuse being emotional or mental or physical, or some combination, or all three.
Hitting the bottom in alcohol dependence is when the bottle pushes away everyone and almost everything until the only thing remaining is employment, and that will likely end soon. Hitting the bottom in a marriage is when there is a dread and often avoidance in being with one's spouse. Hitting the bottom in an abusing situation is when the abuse will likely result in serious physical or emotional harm.
Hitting the bottom is a blessing when the realization is made, I must make a change! This is the blessing for a positive change.
A sad event is when people do not seek help before any situation becomes desperate. Hopelessness easily results. Sometimes people fall through the bottom. They pass the point where help could come to them.
An excellent Scriptural passage is Ecclesiastes, chapter three, beginning with verse one, "..a time for..a time for.." I especially like verse 10, "I have seen the business that God has given to everyone. God has made everything suitable for its time."
Let's add, "There is a time to seek professional mental health help when one even suspects, or knows, 'There is something not right with what is happening to me. I will get help right now!'"
The blessing of hitting the bottom is the desperate need and wonderful opportunity to make the critical God move.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
ANSWER: Sometimes I’m a slow learner. Unfortunately. Because by the time I “get it”, I’ve dug myself in a deep hole that usually keeps on getting deeper and deeper until I decide to make some corrections…hopefully, before it’s not too late. Perhaps this is the situation with you or someone you know.
Fortunately, there is a point where we can – and should, get it. That point is called "hitting the bottom". Let's look at just three of many issues where this idea applies. People becoming increasingly dependent on alcohol. The bottle takes increasing control so the dependent person loses friends, relatives, his or her spouse and children. Often the last thing to lose is the job. Obviously, because income must continue in order to purchase the alcohol. A second issue is continuing in a dysfunctional marriage. Emotional, physical and spiritual distance between the two increases, hostilities and conflicts become more serious. The couple moves from being mere "roommates" to intensely disliking each other. A third issue is staying in an abusing situation, the abuse being emotional or mental or physical, or some combination, or all three.
Hitting the bottom in alcohol dependence is when the bottle pushes away everyone and almost everything until the only thing remaining is employment, and that will likely end soon. Hitting the bottom in a marriage is when there is a dread and often avoidance in being with one's spouse. Hitting the bottom in an abusing situation is when the abuse will likely result in serious physical or emotional harm.
Hitting the bottom is a blessing when the realization is made, I must make a change! This is the blessing for a positive change.
A sad event is when people do not seek help before any situation becomes desperate. Hopelessness easily results. Sometimes people fall through the bottom. They pass the point where help could come to them.
An excellent Scriptural passage is Ecclesiastes, chapter three, beginning with verse one, "..a time for..a time for.." I especially like verse 10, "I have seen the business that God has given to everyone. God has made everything suitable for its time."
Let's add, "There is a time to seek professional mental health help when one even suspects, or knows, 'There is something not right with what is happening to me. I will get help right now!'"
The blessing of hitting the bottom is the desperate need and wonderful opportunity to make the critical God move.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
ISSUE: LETTING GO IS HOLDING ON
QUESTION: Dr. Remington, I was in an emotionally and physically abusing marriage for many years. I finally realized what I had to do and left my marriage. I still have thoughts of him, some of those thoughts are good thoughts. Why can't I stop thinking about him all together?
ANSWER: Your question is a very practical one and is important as we begin to step into the new year often hoping to be optimistic but nagged with thoughts from our past.
"Why can't I stop thinking about him?" is your question. I suggest the answer, "You need not do so." Let's consider, LETTING GO IS HOLDING ON.
We need to let go. Holding on to negative thoughts of our past is keeping the past current, restricting us from being in the present and from making plans for our future. We admit that there was Negativity in our past, often terrible experiences. The seeming human way is to be resentful and determined to hurt as we were hurt. That is not the spiritual and good mental health approach. We cannot change our past but we can control how we recall the past.
Our control is to let the negativity part of our past pass. Turn our negativity thoughts over to God. A truth stream flowing throughout both the Old and the New Testaments is, "You intended for this to do me harm, but God intended it for my good." God is always active on our behalf in all our situations and circumstances. If you have a big problem letting the past go, there is benefit in meeting with a professional counselor. This "letting go" of our negative past opens us to holding on to that which is present and positive.
Hold on to this: In every situation there is some good. From a divorce, for example, there may be children and grandchildren. God is consistently desiring our best. Once controlling negativity is out of the way, we are free to see our good.
Hold on to this: A marriage may end, but the dream of being married in a soul-mate relationship still exists. Dreams need not die when we focus on God's involvement with us.
In all situations and circumstances, no negative thoughts - letting go. Positive thoughts of the good involved, keeping dreams alive, and knowing that in all things God is active for our best - holding on. Romans 12:9-19 is an applicable Scripture.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
QUESTION: Dr. Remington, I was in an emotionally and physically abusing marriage for many years. I finally realized what I had to do and left my marriage. I still have thoughts of him, some of those thoughts are good thoughts. Why can't I stop thinking about him all together?
ANSWER: Your question is a very practical one and is important as we begin to step into the new year often hoping to be optimistic but nagged with thoughts from our past.
"Why can't I stop thinking about him?" is your question. I suggest the answer, "You need not do so." Let's consider, LETTING GO IS HOLDING ON.
We need to let go. Holding on to negative thoughts of our past is keeping the past current, restricting us from being in the present and from making plans for our future. We admit that there was Negativity in our past, often terrible experiences. The seeming human way is to be resentful and determined to hurt as we were hurt. That is not the spiritual and good mental health approach. We cannot change our past but we can control how we recall the past.
Our control is to let the negativity part of our past pass. Turn our negativity thoughts over to God. A truth stream flowing throughout both the Old and the New Testaments is, "You intended for this to do me harm, but God intended it for my good." God is always active on our behalf in all our situations and circumstances. If you have a big problem letting the past go, there is benefit in meeting with a professional counselor. This "letting go" of our negative past opens us to holding on to that which is present and positive.
Hold on to this: In every situation there is some good. From a divorce, for example, there may be children and grandchildren. God is consistently desiring our best. Once controlling negativity is out of the way, we are free to see our good.
Hold on to this: A marriage may end, but the dream of being married in a soul-mate relationship still exists. Dreams need not die when we focus on God's involvement with us.
In all situations and circumstances, no negative thoughts - letting go. Positive thoughts of the good involved, keeping dreams alive, and knowing that in all things God is active for our best - holding on. Romans 12:9-19 is an applicable Scripture.
READER: Submit questions to Ask-A-Counselor, obtain information, or make an appointment by calling 843-448-4820, Fax: 448-9875, send to the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center, 901 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, or log on to http://coastalsamaritan.blogspot.com.
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